he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
