i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
