I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
