im having a threesome with these popsicles
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
