Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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