alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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