why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize