True but thats because hes a fetus.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
