he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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