Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
