I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just pee around me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
