He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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