Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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