i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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