i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
