4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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