Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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