Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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