I'm drive I can fine osifer
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
