I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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