goodnight i made you a song goodbye
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
