her vagine was all disorganized.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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