This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
