soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
