oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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