so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
