I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he thought i was a dude.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
