i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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