Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
