am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
