Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize