whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
