How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
