dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize