He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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