Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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