It's Friday. Sex?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize