It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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