he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
