it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
