Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
