I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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