i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Damn victory sex feels great
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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