It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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