you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
