she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
