remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
