i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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