operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
