You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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