I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
