So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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