I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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