try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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