Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
