dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
