If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
