You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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