I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
