i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
