hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
