alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
