I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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