@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This baby is an asshole
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize